You see, the weeks leading up to Christmas were work for me. Not physical labor, but spiritual. I had been convicted of bitterness and was on a spiritual journey, to rid myself of a stony, stubborn heart, and replace it with one of softness and tenderness. One that was God-willed, instead of self-willed. For the weeks leading up to Christmas, I took myself away from the distraction of social media for several days at a time, I prayed Ezekial 36:26 multiple times each day, and I made myself accountable by sharing my struggle with a select few.
And, God showed up. True to his faithful and loving character. Answering my prayers and overwhelming me with his presence and power, just as he had so many times before.
O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.
You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.
- Psalm 139:1,3 -
I want to be seen by God. I want him to notice me. Although I know that he has always seen me, it hasn't always felt that way.
It's like before my husband and I began dating. He noticed me. But, I didn't see it because I was too distracted by other things. I may have been looking at another guy or stressing about my looming finals. It wasn't until I really looked at him that I saw him for what he was, what he always had been - someone who was loving, cherishing and pursuing me. The same is true for God. I needed to notice him noticing me before we could truly be in relationship.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
- Psalm 139:6 -
That's the feeling I want more in 2015. I want to be in awe of him. I want to be amazed. Overwhelmed.
The note in my study Bible says this regarding the theme of Psalm 139, "God is all-seeing, all-knowing, and everywhere present. God knows us, God is with us, and his greatest gift to allow us to know him."
This year, I opened my hands as a sign of readiness, so that God could fill me with his presence and purpose. As a result, he revealed more of himself to me.
In 2014 I learned many things about God that, despite being a Christian for over 32 years, I had never truly acknowledged before. Among them, the idea that God makes small things mighty. He can take our simple acts of obedience and multiply them into something extraordinary. Just like he took a young boy’s lunch – of five loaves of bread and two fish - and fed 5,000 people, he can take an invitation to dinner and turn it into an incredible blessing for a friend. Or, use a seemingly random, kind word to turn someone’s day around. In 2014, he also used my obedience and worked in the lives of the women of my church; he saw to it that friends were made, trust was built and the gift of salvation was accepted. I did my part and then God did his. It was amazing!
For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory.
- Romans 11:36 -
It is good to be in the presence of the Lord. It is good to know that he is with us.